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Quick Comments
 They're All Part Of The Show... Sponsored Links | Musings... 09-11-2006 11:16 PM
I want to thank all of you who posted on every forum I surf, all those who put up your MySpace bulletins, and sent FaceBook messages for your retarded words of kindness on this ridiculous day of happiness. I don't think I've seen so many trite remembrances of an event like this since... well... LAST years fucking memorial. And even then that was 4 years too much. Why people post "Never Forget" absolutely astounds me. As if I could fucking forget. With CNN replaying the entire days broadcast of the events from 2001, and every other "Special News" story from ABC, NBC, and Fox; not to mention that retard of a President Stuttering Stanley on half of the other remaining channels shaking hands with firemen and laying down wreaths everywhere - I'll be amazed if I'm even able to shit anything other than Red White and Blue in the week to come. I just wanted to say "Thank you" too all of those who helped me remember an otherwise ordinary day that would've passed me right on by just like any other. Your contribution to society will "never be forgotten." If you'll excuse me, I have some CNN coverage to beat off to. 0 Comments 06-26-2006 06:43 AM
Dear Mr. Cockblock, I realize that it is through no intentional malice, anger, or ill-will that you refuse to remove yourself from the table, room, bar, pool, or just my general vicinity so that "sparks can fly" as it would; however I would like to ask of you a small favor the next time you find yourself in the presence of a friend and his date. Simply perfom a few simple tasks, and assess the situation. Step 1: Since chances are you're already near your friend and his date, take a good look at the two of them. Are they close together? Hands on one another? Rubbing? Stroking perhaps? Step 2: Take a look at your watch. How long has it been that you've been sitting there, watching that comedy show/cartoon/movie/at the bar/in the pool with the two of them? 5 minutes? 10? 20 or 30? Step 3: Look at your friends face. Is he dismayed, or even angry when you order another round for yourself? Does a look of exasperation come across his face when you laugh out loud at the cartoons you're watching and tell him how "fucking funny" Aqua-Teen is? Step 4: Is your friend constantly glancing at you, while trying to speak to his date and obviously stalling for time? Trying to create a "moment" that's failing miserably for some reason? If Steps 1-4 seem to be painfully clear, then all that's left is step 5. Step 5: Get the fuck out. Don't even go back for your beer. He'll buy you another one. Leave and don't come back for another half hour. Hell, just don't come back. Don't feel bad friend. It's because your friend is actually concerned for your feelings that he doesn't simply tell you to "get the fuck out and go die in the street" so he can finally stick his penis in his date, an accomplishment that if you hadn't figured it out until now, he's been trying to achieve for the last 20 minutes. Cheer up. There'll be other nights at the bar, that cartoon will be a re-run eventually, and you can always rent the movie from Blockbuster sometime. But odds are you're ruining one of the few chances your friend might have to hook up with this chick, so if you don't mind, just go ahead and walk out the door, and let him give you a call when he's done. Chances are, he might even tell you about it. I know you don't think you're being a cockblock. But again, don't feel bad. For when the time comes when YOU want to go skinny dipping with YOUR date, your friend will nod and say "I think I'm going to stay in," instead of "Yeah! I'll come too!". Just remember - if the situation feels awkward, it probably is. Sincerely, The friend that's about to punch you in the face if you don't get the fuck out. Like now. 0 Comments Places To Go And People To See Cool Sites What they want you to think... airsoft - camping - cooking - dancing - film - forensic science - gaming - guitar - motorcycles - movies - music - nature - online games - peace - photography - piercings - reading - sleeping - video games - zoints | Who Is John Galt...?  sir sexileLift Me Up Or Cut Me Down After the tone please leave a message... Instant Messaging AIM: xxxEmypreanxxx The Personal Ads
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